What is the purpose of a marriage license?
I have a driver's license I obtained by promising to respect the rules of
the road. Doctors and lawyers require licenses to practice their trade,
obtaining that license by promising to obey the laws governing their
professions. The corner store needs a license to sell alcohol and tobacco,
and failing to maintain the rules by which that license is granted can get
Mr. Hooper in a heap o' trouble.
Let's assume for a moment that all of the characters on "Melrose Place"
have
obtained licenses for each marriage that has occurred on the series.
That's
a gross amount of cash that's dropped into Municipal coffers, a lot of
pledges to do the right thing by way of marriage, and a lot of people who
will soon be sleeping with someone to whom they are not currently married,
but to whom they have been married recently, or to whom they will be
married
shortly.
Most of Aaron Spelling's productions are filled (to capacity) with people
who have been ultra-chummy with those to whom they are not married or even
currently dating. "Beverly Hills 90210", formerly filled with teens whose
morals had yet to decay noticeably, has Brandon doing-the-do with a number
of other women while proclaiming his inviolate love for Kelly. Drop him,
babe, he's no good for you.
I chose Aaron Spelling's programming style simply because it gets the most
airtime, but he's not the only person who portrays marriage as a simple
piece of paper. In fact television is filled with people, fictional and
not so, demonstrating the ease with which people reach well beyond the
realm of
acceptable behaviour, and still not have their marriage license revoked.
Unless you've been living in a cave - and if you have, more power to you -
you can't have escaped the fun Bill Clinton's been having in and around
the
White House. From Paula Jones to Monica Lewinsky, Clinton's been bent on a
number of women - at least, that's what alleged to have happened. But with
the tossing of the Paula Jones lawsuit in Arkansas on April 1st, "alleged"
is what it will all remain.
Presidential escapades seem to be of no more consequence than those on
"Melrose Place" or "90210", both of which shows are rife with characters
whose skin is far thicker than most. In the real world, allegations of
sexual misdeed, no matter how groundless, generally destroy marriages and
ruin careers. But in the Spelling version - and in the White House - hints
at adulterous misconduct not only gives your career a boost - it gives a
rise to your popularity rating, too.
What gives? How can male students be charged with sexual harassment for
"inappropriate innuendo" and "ogling" one day, while the sexual advances
of
the President of the United States are ignored the next? There's a nation
of
litigation lawyers making a wondrous living trying specious claims of
"sexual misconduct" & "sexual harassment", yet when Bill Clinton exposes
himself to a woman, or has an alleged affair, it's okey-dokey (cause the
economy is good!).
We've redefined morals in the last several years. Oral sex is not actual
sex, infidelity is no more than "extra-marital interests", and indecent
exposure is simply "letting the twins get some air". Billy can sleep with
whom ever he chooses, Michael can lie and cheat and steal, but the fickle
(and brainless) women of Melrose Place will hop in the sack with them any
old time.
Bill Clinton is alleged to have had an affair with Gennifer Flowers,
another
with Monica Lewinsky, to have exposed himself to Paula Jones, and to have
adventures with any number of women - and yet Hillary and the rest of the
nation are just pleased to hop back into the sack with him again and
again.
Sounds like a script Aaron Spelling would approve heartily.
Copyright© 1998 Michael Brown
cooties@home.com
Printed here with full permission.