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Last year, Phil (my husband) and I posted a note on this page, hoping that
someone would read it and place a child. That note, we are delighted and
gratified to say, has led to an adoption! And a happy one.
Through that page, we learned of a baby while we were in the middle of
adopting a daughter of our own, so we passed the information on to another
couple, who were close to us. They are now the parents of a newborn boy
that they found through this site.
We particularly appreciate the warm, heartfelt response that we received
from people on this site. We would like to thank all the people who have
sent us email and suggestions, including the critical comments. We thought
about all of them, they all helped us with our adoption search, and we are
particularly gratified that we helped a child find parents who will raise
him with all the love and care that two people can provide.
As for our own daughter, we love her more than anything in the world.
Every day (as any parent knows) is a new and wonderful adventure. She is a
happy baby, a joy to see in the morning and a joy to be with in the
evening. Since both of us work at home, either my husband or I am with her
nearly all the time, and we have gotten to know her many moods, her
sounds, her flavors of laughter, her ways of seeing and being. Already
many of the children on our block have come to think of her as a friend.
Although she's not yet walking or talking, they visit her almost daily.
We also want to say that we got to know the birth mother and she got to
know us through this process. We have a good relationship with her, and
she remains glad that the baby is now with us. The adoption not only
worked out well for us, but it worked out well for her. She has her life
more together now, than it was when she decided on adoption, and she says
that the adoption was a very positive turning point for her. She knows
that she will be able to see the baby when the time comes, and that the
child, as she grows older, will know all about where she came.
We now feel, more than ever, that this kind of adoption can be a
wonderful, grace-filled experience and we are beginning the process of
adopting another child. We do this, in part, because we very much want our
daughter to have a brother or sister. We know already, from her
personality, that she would be a great older sister. (She likes other kids
so much!) And we think it would be better for her.
So, once again: if you know of a birth mother who would like to place her
baby with adoptive parents, please give her our first names, Faith and
Phil, and this toll-free phone number: 1-800-699-4557. Or, if you know of
a doctor, social worker, or teacher, who might be able to put potential
birth parents in contact with us, please feel free to copy this message to
them, or to any place on the Web that would be helpful.
We should repeat some of the information about ourselves that we mentioned
in our last letter. Phil is a successful writer, who has written and
published a number of books, including a children's book. I am a part-time
professor. Most importantly, we are loving, stable people who will provide
a good home for a child. We also will pay all the legal expenses involved
in a private adoption, and respect people's need for confidentiality.
We have been married for 11 years now. We have a in a suburb that is very
kid-oriented, outside New York City. We live on a dead end street that is
full of children, just a few blocks from both an elementary school and a
playground. We became certified by New York State as qualified adoptive
parents and we engaged an adoption lawyer.
Last time we wrote, we talked about how remarkable an experience this has
been. That continues to be true. Concerns about privacy still prevent me
from saying too much about it, but we now can say from experience that
this process leads to happy adoptions. AFTER we adopted our daughter we
learned that many people have either adopted a child, have an adopted
relative, or were adopted themselves. We also learned that many more
people than we had guessed arranged their adoptions privately, as we did.
Last year, we sometimes heard the question: "Why are you going this route
instead of going through an agency?" One reason why was the $20,000 fee
and the three-year waiting period. But most of it had to do with the
attitude we picked up from adoption agency people.
We still find ourselves walking a thin line around the privacy issue. On
one hand, we have to maintain our privacy. And yet we have to publicize
our quest. The more people who know about our desire to adopt a child, the
more likely we are to be connected to a birth mother.
At any rate, thanks once again for listening...
Faith and Phil
1-800-699-4557
flf@river.org
http://www.river.org/~flf/Faith.html
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